Surrender

I recently read a post by a yoga blogger who was talking about surrender.  She discussed what it was in her life she was feeling the need to "surrender" to and it made me think about the term in relation to my own life.

The answer to the question didn't come to me until I was out on a run last week.  I need to surrender to the cold.  In one week I begin my training plan for my very first half marathon.  And all of my training will take place in the coldest winter months.  What in the world was I thinking????

It's been a little better since I made this decision.  I've quit checking the temperature on my phone before going for my morning run; I just take my dog out and let my body tell me what I think I need to put on.  I always put on my warmest running hat and gloves, knowing I can take them off if not needed.  And then I try not to think about it anymore, get out the door and GO, accepting that I will be cold until mile 2. 

This routine served me well one morning last week when I got up to take doggie out and discovered it was snowing! That wasn't in the forecast.  My immediate first thought was "treadmill", followed by "I could fall",  but I pushed those thoughts away and just thought about how pretty it was.  Came in, got dressed and headed back out.  It WAS pretty, so quiet, peaceful.  Beautiful.  When I got back and looked at my phone, it said temps were 15 with the wind chill. Had I looked at that before running, I would never have went.

I am also trying to surrender to "just being me"...at least in the context of running. I'm always just trying to be me, but with running I've been doing that horrible habit of comparison.  And it just doesn't work.  Mentally I know this, but was recently handed a huge serving of humility physically to make sure I get the point.

I went to a group run on Saturday that was sponsored by the half marathon I've signed up for.  It's a run on parts of the course that the race will be on, which is crazy hilly.  So I know I need to practice on the course.  But it's so hard to show up (for me) for runs where I know no one.  But it said there would be different routes (4, 7, 10) and different paces for all.  So I make myself go.  In the rain. 

And guess what? Only those damn hardcore runners show up in the rain.  15 people, including me.  Everybody wants to run 10 miles.  Except me.  Everybody wants to run a 9 minute pace.  Except me, can't.  So....they tell me I can go the 4 mile route, they will show me where to go when we split up.

I manage to stay at the back of the pack for the first half mile or so by running my fastest half mile ever, completely motivated by shame, but knowing that I can't keep it up.  The race director guy hangs back at first and tries to be nice, chats me up, tells me where to go for 4m loop, then he gets tired of running so slow and goes ahead. 

The pack keeps pulling further away and it makes me feel awful. A couple of runners go on the 4m loop with me to show me the way, but they have to keep doubling back to really talk to me.  It's humiliating.  I'm thinking things like "I'll never come to this training run again!" "Why in the world do I think I can run a half?" "Are these people laughing at me in front of my back?".  But then I get mad at myself for being so negative.  I can't help the pace I run at.  It's my pace.  It's the best I can do at this time.  Maybe I will get faster the longer I do this, maybe I won't.  But at least I'm doing it!  I think of one of my favorite bloggers, John Bingham, who writes about coming in LAST in many races, but still he ran.  He's ever written running manuals! His nickname is the Penguin because he is so slow!  But he runs, and he enjoys it. 

So, yes, I will go back to these training runs.  I will be the one at the back of the pack.  I will be the one yelling "car back" if a vehicle approaches from my direction.  I will be the one making everyone else feel good about their current pace.  I will be there in rain or snow.  (But not sleet)  And I will finish that damn race in as many hours as it takes and I'll have a medal around my neck just like those 9 min people!

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler !!!! (Let the Good Times Roll)

I've been battling a nice little cold all weekend, nothing horrible, just enough to make me not want to do anything.  I believe it may be my penance for having such a wonderful time last weekend!!

I spent 4 fantastic days in Louisiana, 2 of them on Bourbon St in the French Quarter, 2 of them on the North Shore of Lake Pontchartrain.  Started out on the North Shore, where I got in a sweet run along the shore of Lake Pontchartrain in 65 degree weather.  My body did not know what was going on.

Also got to experience a drive thru daiquiri shop at 10am.  What?! I'm on vacation!

Off to Bourbon St. on Friday.  Stayed at a very nice hotel right on the strip which had a fabulous balcony opening onto the courtyard.  Friday and Saturday were cloudy and rainy, but that did not deter the crowds in any way.  This place is cray cray.  I had some strange encounters with random people on the street each night, but I think you had to be there to get just how weird they were.  Let's just say that one man acted like he was going to bite my neck (?) and another guy threw a bag of trash at my feet while gesturing in angry ways with his arms and hands.  Neither of them said a word. ????????????????

Third picture is of this great little open air jazz bar that was right across the street.  Several moments spent here.

We encountered an impromptu parade at one point when we were coming back from the French Market.

Did you know that Abita beer is made near New Orleans?  Nope, me either.

We almost made it in time for a tour of the brewery.  But then we didn't. :-)

The area around Jackson Square, on our way back from French Market.  We then took a street car over to the Garden District and toured a cemetery.

This last photo we jokingly referred to as the "Lone Rangers", perhaps those who didn't have a family crypt to be buried in.  This is where I would be. :-)

This is a random tree next to our stop to get back on the street car.  We just happen to look over and it's filled with beads!! Beads hanging on trees, light posts, power wires, damn things are everywhere!!

So, great trip, had a wonderful time.  My only complaint? Food!!! Let me just say, I was sooooo not a gegan girl on this trip.  I had trouble just being a vegan girl!!  It was so hard to find things I would eat. My friend was getting tired of the many adventures to find me some food, but I must say much patience was displayed.  My friend did point out that I have a habit of reading the label of anything I'm handed to eat that is packaged.  This is something I had not realized, but it's something I've had to do for so long. There was nothing on the main strip of Bourbon St., but as we started to venture out, there were some options.  Thank goodness for the app VegOut.  This thing saved me.  Helped me find some ethnic options that were ok, but my greatest find was this tiny little café in the French Market.  Meals From the Heart Café. 

 

This first pic of their vegan smoothie that just happened to probably be the only gegan thing I had the whole time I was there!  It was yummy and thick enough to need a spoon!  I wanted to hug and kiss these people. Seriously.

 

 

The photo below is of vegan pancakes!!!!! This is only the second time since I've been vegan that I've had pancakes unless I've made them at home.  Wanted to kiss them this time as well.

 



So basically, if you are a vegan in New Orleans, go to this café.  You and your belly will be so happy.

Ok, gotta go take another shot of medicinal bourbon now.  In honor of the trip that caused me to have this cold.